A doctor says to a man "You want to improve your love life? You need
to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man
called the doctor. The doctor says "How is your love life since you
have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your
tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The
doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc,
how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his
bill, so he gave him another six months.
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"
The Doctor called Mrs. Jones saying "Mrs. Jones, your check came
back." Mrs. Jones answered "So did my arthritis!"
The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"